Magazine Politica

“An Australian’s painful observations of Swedishness”, ovvero; la Svezia e’ una sola

Creato il 26 dicembre 2013 da Wally26


L’estate scorsa ho viaggiato in cinque nazioni europee in tre mesi. Un bel record. Una di queste e’ stata la Svezia. Debbo dire che  contrariamente a quanto leggevo in rete o ascoltavo dalla tv italiana, che nutre mi sembra una vera adorazione per il “modello nordico”, la Svezia mi ha lasciato con l’amaro in bocca. Perche’? Ho trovato una spiegazione esaustiva in questo blog dal titolo assai esplicativo:”Why I left Sweden“; eccolo

You know you’ve been in Sweden too long when…

5. When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume:
a: he is drunk
b: he is insane
c: he’s an American

57. Having to book seat numbers at a cinema makes perfect sense. And you sit in your booked seat even if there are only 2 other people there and your seat is in the front row, on the side.

64. You think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of ‘cheap’ spirits at systembolaget

79. You spend the week’s entertainment budget on a pack of cigarettes and a drink in Gamla Stan.

80. When a stranger asks you a question in the streets, you think it’s normal to just keep walking, saying nothing.

83. You and your friends know exactly the same information, and have the same attitudes and beliefs in the value of Social Democracy.

85. You think that if you smoke a joint you will wind up in an insane asylum. [or become a habitual criminal]

94. You don’t question the concept of ‘telephone time’. It seems reasonable that no business can be conducted on Friday afternoons. [or the entire month of July]

95. You assume that anyone who apologises after bumping into you is a tourist.

96. You feel discomfort if you can’t find the nummerlap machine.

101. Paying $6 for a cup of coffee seems reasonable.

119. You think it entirely reasonable to pay $40 for a five minute chat with the doctor.

121. You think it is normal EVERYTHING is regulated and you obey the rules voluntarily.

124. You accept that you will get parking tickets regularly and stop caring that you have no idea what was wrong with your parking.

144. You will squeeze past somebody rather than say excuse me.

156. You pay the TV-avgift because you think you’re getting your money’s worth watching SVT.

157. You start looking at socialbidrag (welfare) less as an absolutely desperate last resort and more as a way of life.

165. You start believing that good service is overrated.

168. You take two hour naps at work and the idea of losing your job never crosses your mind.

169. You don’t even get surprised when the doctor, not only can’t help you, he/she can’t even diagnose you.

211. You think that the 25kr ICA bonus cheque is generous after spending 2500kr in their shop.

216. It seems normal to you that you’ve been bleeding in the emergency room at the hospital for four and a half hours when the three doctors walk by on their third coffee break since you got there.

236. A 25 % sales tax on just about everything is no big deal.

249. You’ve come to accept that customer service departments don’t do anything to help customers.

250. If you meet someone you haven’t seen in ages you just stay right where you are chatting away even if that happens to be in the doorway of a very busy department store.

255. You don’t find it strange that they add tax on top of the taxes.

276. You no longer feel it’s unbearable inside an over-heated shop wearing full winter gear.

277. You no longer look for toilets marked specifically male or female

278. You remember to buy the weekend grog supply before 5.00pm on Friday

282. You agree to pay 500kr for a basic hair trim.

283. You accept that fruit juice is always made from concentrate.

290. You either run for the last pendeltåg at 1 am or choose to party on until 5 am when they start again rather than endure the horrific night bus home, as a taxi ride would require taking out a 2nd mortgage.

304. Swedes saying Va’ to you is still annoying (even after ten years), not to mention that there is no real word for please, or?

311. You accept that any bureaucratic employee is incapable of a single autonomous thought and that anything, regardless of how ludicrous, is law once committed to paper.

340. Drinking is the fundamental pillar of your social network, be it coffee or alcohol.

346. You automatically try to dress the same as everyone else.

355. And paying $800,000 for a 3 room (living room, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen) house in a suburb of Stockholm seems cheap.

360. When you are terrified of meeting you neighbour in the stairwell.

367. You think is perfectly normal that nobody talks on the bus, train or tunnelbana.*

*Una vera assurdita’: vi racconto un aneddoto che descrive bene la situazione. Dopo una giornata in giro per Copenhagen salgo sul trenino che avrebbe riportato me, mia madre, mio padre e mio marito in Svezia. Conversiamo normalmente, senza urlare, ma, insomma siamo italiani dai. Una tizia asiatica seduta poco distante da noi ci redarguisce subito:”shhhhhhh!”. Noi ci guardiamo increduli, poi riprendiamo a parlare. Al che una allegra famigliola svedese, uscita da una pubblcita’ dell’IKEA, chiama il controllore e lo manda da noi. Il tizio, un ragazzo di colore, ci dice qualcosa in svedese. Io penso:”sono matti, abbiamo beccato il vagone riservato agli esauriti“. Invece no, dico al tizio, in inglese, che farei volentieri quello che ci chiede se solo capissi lo svedese e lui mi spiega cortesemente, ma autoritariamente in inglese, che in quel vagone si deve tassativamente rispettare il SILENZIO.  “Vede? C’e’ quel cartellino lassu’ che lo dice chiaramente“.  Dopo qualche fermata salgono due allegre signore, forse danesi, che sono piu’ gioviali delle dirimpettaie. Parlottano fra loro animatamente. L’asiatica riparte all’attacco:”Shhhhhhh!!!”. E qui ci guardiamo tutti quanti e scoppiano a ridere, sommessamente ma decisamente.


Area del silenzio

368. You accept that people talk to you only when they are really drunk.

369. You accept that the best answer for a question is always “Jag vet inte” meaning “I don’t know”.*

*Bhe’, qui a NY e’ la stessa cosa; si vede che l’infulenza nordica e’ ancora bella presente...

371. You accept the fact that to rent an apartment you have to wait in the queue for 5 years.

406. You’re not surprised anymore when hearing about an old petrol station being turned into a mosque.

All of them here:

Scrivero’ altri post sulla Svezia; c’e’ altro da dire e da mostrare, a presto.

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