Cares

CARES   Now you know what I do, I put on my coat and cap, sit on the bench in the locker room, and wait for mom. Please, please, Lord, make so that that Mom comes to pick me up! At least to eat. The dough is soft, the egg sucks. Yesterday I threw up, they made me get up, they took me to the center of the room, left me standing there alone while they went to get something to clean me, because I had the apron all dirty of vomit. I called Mom, I was wet, I was ashamed because they were all staring at me, pointing their fingers at me, laughing with those toothless faces.
 Why mom does not come for me? So I go home and eat purè, which mother makes good, and then watch children TV. This morning they gave me a paper and a pencil. “Draw, Gina,” they said. I pointed the pencil on the paper, I drew an arc with one hand. The one who gave me the paper asked: “What is it, Gina?” “It’s a bridge, all right?” I said. So, if nothing else, they stop to force me to draw. I cannot draw, I do not like to draw. I wish they would let me read all the books they have in that room over there. But perhaps I cannot read.
Yesterday they made us sit in a circle. “Gina, tell us something about you,” they said. I did not come with anything to say, I seemed to have a shoe box for a head. I was sweating.
“Fear not, Gina, here you have lots of new friends.”
Mom told me that two people become friends when they have known each other for a long time and they love. I do not know how long I have been here. I’m here, but these are not my friends and I do not love anyone. No, really, these are not my friends, they stink and piss on themselves. If I get close, they give me a push. One told me: “Go away, bitch.” Mom does not want me to say certain words, she does not want me to listen to them either.
Mom, please, come.   ***”

“We smoke a cigarette, Joan?”
“Yes, Angela, but in a haste, because soon the director will be here.” Joan and Angela rely on the external glass and smoke quickly, inhaling large gulps. The air is refreshing, the sun goes down and hides behind the hills. A third nurse passes close to them pushing an empty wheelchair. “Hurry up, the viper is coming.”
“How did you see them today?” Asked Joan. “Well … as usual, some peaceful, others not.”
“It ’s absurd how bad they can be at their age. They hate Gina, poor thing, the push her aside. ” “Gina does not bind to anyone, says little, does not open, it is not collaborative … “
“Yeah, today I tried to make her draw, but nothing.” A bell rings, the two nurses quickly extinguish their cigarettes under the soles of their shoes. “Come on, let’s work.”
Back in the big common room. “Do you empty the pans?” says Angela, in a loud voice to be heard by the director who, at that moment, is coming down the stairs from upper floors.  ”Yes, and you go get the diapers, medium and large size, please.”
The director has stopped at the foot of the stairs. “Joan, Angela,” she says with a snake smile, “our guests need you. You are not here to have fun. This is not a kindergarten, girls, remember, is a nursing home.

Patrizia Poli